Heist Brewery- Charlotte, NC

         We were on our way to see Jason Isbell at the Neighborhood Theatre downtown that night. I was exhausted from 4 days of a new job and ready for a  fresh new flavor. Well, sort of; when I say "new" what I really mean is a  stout from a local craft brewery that has not yet passed my lips. Creamy, smooth, sweet but not sour-stomach-inducing. Heavenly deliciousness. I would happily have allowed for a little extra heavy and extra sweet on this occasion because one beer would likely be my max. My expectations were high, and just as quickly disappointed.

        Granted I had done zero research on this brewery before we got there, but I never do. If it’s a craft brewery that I’ve never visited/tasted that’s all the information I need. Decision made: let’s go. On this occasion food was necessary and they had that, so saith Yelp.

            We arrived at  a beautiful building that is only mildly confusing due to the fact that it is apparently shared with an animal hospital and there was no clear entrance. After wandering briefly we found the side door, one of two we were to later learn. In we go. Immediately, we are overwhelmed by yuppies (do people still use that word?) carrying beer glasses and very small, mostly empty plates. Huh? No hostess to be found. For a moment I thought we’d crashed a private business party. Eventually it was discovered that the “seating” area is in the back, where there's a separate entrance (which from the outside is not clearly delineated)  and found a hostess who then  found us a table.

       The surroundings of Heist are pristine. Rock walls, carefully manicured modern seating and a wonderful glass wall into the beer mechanisms.  I always begin with a beer menu. And here’s where the impression begins to fail. There is NO stout (and the so called "Seasonal Stout" doesn't count because not only were they not currently brewing it, there was no indication of when they actually DO).  There is NO porter.  As for an IPA, there is ONLY an imperial IPA. Fail Fail Fail. A brewery that doesn’t create the current mainstay of any brewery, an IPA and at least one dark beer? Am I in the Twilight Zone? Adding to the overall sense that beer really isn’t the point of this particular brewery, of their 8 beers only ONE had a name. The rest were simply listed by their type.  Is there really a brew master out there who is so uninspired by his craft that he lacks the passion to name his creations? Okay, okay, let’s just calm down and see if there’s any merit to the beverages that DO exist.

            Because the brown ale sounded weak and sad I decided to go for the mixed beer/liquor option. To Heist’s credit, this is a rarity among breweries. As it turns out it took a shot of whiskey and blueberry to give their dark ale any flavor or alcohol content whatsoever. And to the tune of $10 I felt robbed. When a creative craft brewery easily can put out a dark beer WITH flavor and an ABV of 8% or greater for around $5.50 please explain to me why I’d go out of my way to come back here? I fear their bland beer is marketed for the consumption of their equally bland clientele, the “now”and hip population who wants to be seen being cool at the pretty craft brewery but would prefer to drink a Budweiser or equally boring lager as they do so.  Congratulations, Heist, you’ve done it.  When/If you have the motivation and care to make a beer with a flavor and a name, let me know. I’ll be glad to give it a shot. Until then, enjoy the yuppies.

     Off the subject of beer, their claim to great food does hold true. It was damn delicious and amazingly inventive. If you've never had deep-fried bacon I highly recommend it here; believe me when I say it's worth a little clogging of that Left Main coronary artery.  The service was impeccable and the bartender was very knowledgeable of all products available, a quality that all too often goes missing. 

    A kick-ass show by Jason Isbell tempered the entire evening. Success in 2 arenas, even if not in all 3. CHEERS!

http://heistbrewery.com/

http://www.jasonisbell.com/